March 2002

Valentine in the morning radio show

Valentine: It's Valentine in the morning...

Amy: WOOO!

Valentine: Amy's excited..go ahead Amy. Do your big introduction. This is your interview...go ahead, go ahead...

Amy:..well, and he's *really* sexy...

Michael: Shut up...

Amy: He's really super sexy...

Michael: Liar

Valentine: Tell 'em all about Michael...go ahead...

Amy: Lex Luthor...is sitting right next to me...I love Smallville...

Valentine: Introduce him...introduce him

Amy: Michael...Michael Rosenbaum is his real name, but to me he's Lex

Michael: Thank God I wore a belt...this girl's all over me like a cheap suit...

{Everyone laughs}

Valentine: Dude, she's a psycho...she loves that show so much. Who did we have on here...Schneider? We had Schneider on here, right?

Amy: Yeah, John Schneider

Michael: Oh yeah...

Valentine:John Schneider of Dukes of Hazzard fame, on Smallville as well...real nice guy...

Michael: Great guy

Valentine: ...all over him as well.

Amy: I never thought I would like the show as much as I do...there was all that hype in the beginning...

Valentine: About Smallville, right.

Amy: ...and so when I watched it...and I'm completely sucked in....it's *so* great...Lex and Clark are best friends, and they do all these funny little jokes in there...

Michael: Can we get a drool bucket? Valentine? Anyone? She's starting to drool a little bit

{everyone laughs}

Valentine: Dude, it's scary isn't it? Isn't it scary?

Michael: It's..it's flattering though. I like that.

Amy: It's so good...

Valentine: Smallville is Tuesday nights on the WB..

Amy: Michael, are you single?

Michael: I am single, yes.

Amy: Oh thank God...

Michael: You can put your hand on my lap...it's all good.

{Amy makes some squeal/laugh noise}

Valentine: Michael, how did you get the gig on Smallville? How did that happen?

Michael: Umm...how did I do that....I, uh, I had done a couple of shows for the WB...

Valentine: Yeah

Michael:...shows that no one remembers...The Tom Show...

Amy: Zoey, Duncan, Jack and Jane...

Michael:...Zoey, Duncan, John...er...Zoey, Duncan, Jack and George...

{everyone laughs}

Michael:..I did that one...and, uh, the WB was always like, "Hey, we're gonna get you something!"

Valentine: Something's gonna happen man! It's gonna click!

Michael: And then I did a pilot that didn't go, and they were like, ya know...I don't know...and then finally this show came along, and it worked out. They liked me and next thing I know, I shaved my head and I'm living in Vancouver and it's very wet.

Valentine: And you dress like girls a lot, don't you? Nothing to do with Smallville, BTW, but I've heard you dress like women a lot.

{Amy laughs}

Michael: How dare you...how dare you...{laughs}

Valentine: No, I'm gonna talk about Sorority Boys coming up in a few minutes here...

Michael: Yeah...yes, I dress in drag quite often...no, not in real life...

Valentine: But Sweet November with Keanu Reeves...you're in that movie and you dress in drag in that one, didn't ya?

Michael: Yeah, well...I was a transvestite...

Valentine: Yeah, so that's why you dressed in drag.

Michael: Yes

Valentine: It worked out that way. Most transvestites dress in drag.

Michael: Right. Uh...yeah...I guess that's....I wouldn't know that...

{everyone laughs}

Michael:...Really. I mean, I'm like Robbie {I think he said something like that--they were all talking} I don't hang out at the Queen Mary all the time...

Valentine: What's your dress size?

Michael: Oh, I dunno...

Valentine: Don't lie..

Michael: I'm very petite

Valentine: Are you petite? OK

Michael: Uh...6...like a 6...

Amy: He's in good shape..you look like you're...

Michael: I'm very thin...I'm wirey

Valentine: Do you have brothers and sisters in your family?

Michael: I have an older brother and an older sister and a younger brother. I was like right in the middle, so I need attention.

Valentine: Did you get the hand-me-downs?

Michael: Umm...what the dresses? {laughs}

Valentine: Yeah, ya get those? There's nothing like it. I had hand-me-downs from my two older sisters, so I love that. Patent leather pumps, I'm awesome, man

Amy: Oh...

Valentine: But that sucker on...little Catholic girl skirt...

Amy: You have to explain why we're talking about drag though...

Michael: Yeah

Amy:... 'cause Michael dresses like a girl in Sorority Boys

Valentine: Yeah, we'll talk about that in a second, but Michael also dresses like a girl in a couple of other things too.

Michael: Yeah

Amy: And just occasionally on a Friday night

Valentine: Occasionally on a Friday night...

Michael: Why the hell not? Why not be different?

Valentine: Why not?

Michael: Nikey: Be Different

Valentine: We'll talk about Sorority Boys when we come back. It's Valentine in the Morning..

Valentine: It's Valentine in the Morning...

Michael: You're wearing a Polo shirt, Valentine...

Valentine: I am wearing a Polo shirt...it's very sexy, very attractive. The shirt you're wearing Michael right now says 'Betty's Detailing--Getting Down and Dirty, So You Don't Have To'

Michael: Yeah, you know what though? I'm not as rich as you Valentine.

Valentine: Michael. You're on Smallville, on the WB...

Michael: Uh-huh

Valentine:...a hit show..

Michael: Yeah

Valentine:...you play Lex Luthor

Michael: Uh-huh

Valentine: You're rich. But more importantly in your past, you were know as...what was your radio name again?

Michael: What's what?

Valentine: At Western Kentucky University

Michael: Oh yeah. I was a DJ at Western Kentucky University. I was known as "Minasha" {and I have no idea if that's spelled right.}

Valentine: Let's hear your best buddy...you're on.. {starts playing some classic rock in the background}

{Amy laughs}

Michael: {switches to a more DJ-ish voice} Bowling Green's only alternative, 91.5 WWHR. Minasha here with ya at Western Kentucky University.. {switches back to normal voice} How's that guys?

{Amy cheers}

Valentine: Not bad, not bad, not bad

Michael: Yeah?

Valentine: So in Sorority Boys, you are dressed up as a chick

Michael: Yeah

Jimmy JokeShack: So do you dress up as a chick in Smallville?

Michael:{mock annoyance} NO! Dammit!

Valentine: Watch the show, you idiot. Don't you know that stuff?

Michael: Guy's always watching...

Valentine: Sweet November he's dressed up like a chick ' cause he was a transvestite.

Michael: He didn't see that. All he does is watch porn.

Valentine:I know. Jimmy Jokeshack leave the room. You're outta here.

Jimmy: Awww...

Michael: What, is it like a city council meeting in here?

Valentine: People just keep walking in the studio...

Michael: You've got the guy from Anthrax in here

{everyone laughs}

Valentine: Intern Andrew just walks in wearing a little hat on his head...you do look kinda...

{everyone is laughing and clapping}

Michael{I think...like I said, everyone was hooting loudly} What's up {couldn't make out what he said cause everyone was laughing..sounded like he said "Bra" or "Bro" or "Rah"}

Intern Andrew: No, I'm excited...I watch the show all the time...Smallville is a great show

Michael: Thanks man

Valentine: Great, we're done talking about Smallville by the way.

Michael: Yeah, we're talking about Sorority Boys

Valentine: We're talking about Sorority Boys. Now, Harland Williams is in this flick with you. He's a good friend of mine.

Michael: He's a genius. I can do a pretty good Harland impression.

Valentine: Let's hear it.

Michael {in Harland's voice}: Hey buddy! How are ya?

{everyone claps}

Valentine: That's it! (joins in with impression of his own} Hey buddy!

Michael: How are ya, kid! How are ya, clam chowder? What's goin' on with ya?

Valentine:(normal voice) The best...wait a minute...do you know what his dog's name is?

Michael: (normal voice) Yeah, yeah

Valentine: Fisherman Bob is his dog's name

Michael: {laughing} I know! I walked in...I went to his house and he goes {Harland voice again} "Hey here's Fisherman Bob" {normal voice} I'm like "What are you talking about?" and he's like {Harland voice} "This is my dog buddy! It's my freakin' dog! I got Fisherman Bob!"

Valentine: Harland stands out on his back porch and the dog gets outside... "Fisherman Bob! Fisherman Bob!"

Michael: He's a genius. We had the most fun on this movie. Waking up and seeing...

Valentine: Did ya?

MichaelMichael: He looked like Kathy Griffin in drag

Amy: Isn't...isn't

Michael: But like a lot heavier. Kathy Griffin's not really heavy.

Amy: Isn't the hot guy from 7th Heaven in it too

Michael: Yeah, Barry Watson

Valentine: Barry Watson

Michael: Man, we had like the best time.{laughs}

Valentine: So anyway, that opens on Friday...Sorority Boys

Michael: Yeah. It's a lot of fun...I'm not kidding around...it's like one of those movies--there's a couple other movies coming out...this is like the only comedy..this is three guys being complete idiots...lot of physical comedy...some nakedness...

Valentine: Michael Rosenbaum...in a dress...

Amy: Oh my God...

Valentine: Michael likes to wear a dress. He's on Smallville..

Michael: Yeah

Valentine: He's also in Sorority Boys

Michael: Yeah

Valentine: And we can't thank him enough for coming by...

{Amy giggles}

Michael: Are we done with this interview already?

Valentine: Oh we're getting close

Michael: I don't wanna be done with this interview man...it's not long enough. We're having too much fun.

Valentine: All right...take me to break doing your DJ stuff. You ready? (Valentine throws the theme to Shaft on in the background)

Michael {Harland voice} : Hey buddy! Rockin' and rollin! Go see Sorority Boys, kid! It's...a lot of fun...you're gonna love it...go to hell Valentine..go to hell.