michaelrosenbaum.com

October 2003

See You Later, Gladiator

--by Paul Semel, Spin Magazine

Modern-day warriors Linda Cardellini and Michael Rosenbaum come out and play the colosseum combat game Gladius.

Michael Rosenbaum and Linda Cardellini are actors, not fighters: He's best known as Clark Kent's bald, brainy rival Lex Luthor on the WB's Smallville, and she's better suited to playing such adorable introverts such as Freaks and Geeks protagonist Lindsay and Scooby-Doo sidekick Velma. Still, they eagerly donned virtual breastplates and codpieces for Gladius, LucasArts' gladiatorial RPG, in which the stars voice two mighty warriors in ancient Rome. As a test of their razor-sharp combat skills, we pitted the pair against each other in a war of words--to the death! Are you not entertained?

On Hanging Tough

Rosenbaum: "Smallville has a hockey team, and when we played another show's team, there was this guy who was playing dirty, and he gave me an elbow. So I gave him an elbow back. I thought we were even, but he head-butted me. I gave him a left hook and knocked him on his ass. Afterward, my producer said, 'You can't be doing stuff like that. By the way, nice left hook.'"

Cardellini: "When I was a kid, I won a push-up contest and then had grandiose dreams of becoming a body-builder. But that fell by the wayside. Then, after I saw the first Matrix, I started taking martial-arts classes, but since then I've fallen off. I will go back to it, though, especially after seeing The Matrix Reloaded."

Advantage: Rosenbaum

On Professional Hazards

Rosenbaum:"Because Linda wasn't there when I was recording the love scenes, I had to do them with the game's producer. So when I'd say, 'I love you', I'd then hear this deep, masculine voice say, 'I love you, too.' That actually threw me off a little bit."

Cardellini: "We had to record about 75 different noises, like when the character gets hit or gains strength. So for a good 20 minutes, I had to do a series of grunts and groans. But I had a hard time exclaiming 'Yes!' over and over again without it sounding inappropriate. Sometimes, it sounded a little too sensual."

Advantage: Cardellini

On Killer Locks

Rosenbaum: "I want (my character) Valens' hair. He has good, scraggly, scruffy gladiator hair. Though I think my hair now, after six and a half weeks of growth, is good gladiator hair, too. It's new-wave, Flock of Seagulls hair."

Cardellini: "(My character) Ursula doesn't look like me at all. She's blonde--I'm brunette. But maybe not for long. Perhaps I'll go blonde, just for the resemblance."

Advantage: Rosenbaum

On The Feminine Mystique

Rosenbaum: Picture of Rosenbaum as Adina in the film Sorority Boys

Cardellini: Picture of Cardellini on the red carpet at Scooby Doo's world premiere

Advantage: Cardellini (clearly)

On The Current Relevance Of Gladiators

Rosenbaum: "When I play hockey, it's like being a gladiator. You put on your armor, your stick is your sword, you're slamming into people, and the crowd is cheering. If you're just looking at actors, yes, I'm one of the best (players). I can kick Alan Thicke's ass. And he knows that."

Cardellini: "As a woman, when you go out into a man's world, where you're a little less privileged, you have to be strong. Sometimes it makes you feel gladiatorial. Is that too feminist?"

Advantage: Even

And the winner is.... It's a draw. Seriously, would you want Lex Luthor--or Velma--as an adversary?

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