November 2003

Lex Luthor

Like Martin Johnson before him, Smallville's Michael Rosenbaum's had his head up a mate's arse! What the hell's going on in the world?

You play Lex Luthor in Superman-as-a-boy TV show, Smallville. But do you have your own special power?

Probably belching. The best film ever made is Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. It's amazing. And scary. My favourite bit is when they are in the fizzy lifting drinks room and they have to belch to save their lives. What kind of a situation do you have to be in when only belching will save your life? But I'm a great belcher, so if it ever happens I'll be ready.

We saw you in drag in [romantic Keanu Reeves film] Sweet November. Got any make-up tips?

I like dressing in drag. And I guess I mist have been pretty good-looking because when I was on the set these guys from other projects would be staring at me and giving me the eye. But I probably wouldn't have sex with myself. Unless it was three in the morning and there was no one else left in the bar. That's happened a couple of times, but generally I'm just not my type. My mum loved me as a woman though. After she saw the movie she called me up and said, "You look exactly like me!" I had to tell her I was a man so that wasn't really a compliment.

Rant about anything you want for 30 seconds. Go.

When I was a kid all musicians and rock artists had their own personalities. Now I can't tell who the fuck is playing on the radio. It all sounds the same. Where are all the great bands? Bring back Fleetwood Mac and Janis Joplin. Jimi Hendrix had more talent in his toes than Nickelback will ever have.

Do we detect a frustrated musician?

God, no. I don't think I could do that. but I do write songs for myself. Fun songs. But I get pretty into it. And I do a great guitar solo face.

Cool. What's disappointed you most recently?

I went to the Matrix Reloaded premiere and hated it. We had to wait for over an hour for the cast to get into the cinema, so it didn't end until really late. And then it was "To Be Concluded." I was disgusted. There wasn't even an aftershow party. But I did get to sit next to Ben Kingsley. Probably because he's bald too. I just wanted to rub his head all the way through, but that would have been rude.

Is there a Lex doll of you?

Yeah. When it came out I was really excited and just wanted to show it off to my friends. So I went round to their place and my friend is standing in his living room, buck naked. So I'm like, "What are you doing?" So he turns around and the head of the Lex doll is stuck up his arse. That kind of brought me back down to earth.

Ever abused your fame with a lady?

You have to be careful. I get my share of crazy fans. One woman sent me a novel about her life married to Lex. Sometimes they send pictures--and not just head shots. One time at a signing a girl came up to me and I suddenly recognized her from a photo she'd sent. And she really was as beautiful as I'd thought at the time. But I didn't say anything. Sometimes I think about calling her though. Maybe I should send her a photo of me.

What's the worst thing about Britain?

Fish juice. I was in a hotel the other day and they put this fish shit on my salad. Anchovies or something? [Worcester Sauce?] I almost vomited. What is wrong with you people?

Hold on, you're the bloke whose mate sticks a doll's head up his arse! Let's move on. What do you like spending money on?

Arcade games. I'm into the old classic games like Pacman and Donkey Kong, so I keep buying these big old arcade machines for myself. But I'm never going to make enough money for all the toys I want. I also collect vintage tour T-shirts. I have hundreds. Everything from Oliva Newton John to Duran Duran. I have a Chicago one that's worth $100. It's my hobby. That's OK, isn't it?

We'll let you off. What's your most essential possession?

My van. I have this custom Dodge conversion van with an extended roof. It's such a shag palace. In the back is this couch which turns into a bed when you flick a switch. I've loaded it up with a plasma TV, sound system, DVD and XBox. It's so cool. But I still haven't gotten laid in it. I've had it for over a year and I've made out in it, but that's it. It's going to happen though. It's just a matter of time.

Are you a bit of a hippy then?

Absolutely. My parents were full-on hippies. My dad was 18 and only had one pair of jeans when I was born. He would deliver the paper on Long Island and smoke a lot of grass. Now he works for a pharmaceutical company, so go figure. But I love all that stuff. The music, the vibe, everything I buy is from that era. I was just born a little too late.

Tell us your best celebrity story.

I did a movie with Christopher Walken. On my first day I introduce myself and tell him what a fan I am and ask him what I should call him on set. So he says, "You know what, call me Flash." So next day I'm on the set with my friends, showing off and as he passes I go, "Hey Flash" and he just turns and looks at me and says, "Who the fuck are you?"

In your opinion which superhero would benefit from a good kicking?

I'm not impressed with Wolverine. Having knives come out of your fingers isn't a super power. Not like being invisible. That's the best one. You'd get to walk around naked and punch whoever you wanted.